when my heart takes over

Sometimes, no matter how much I tell myself to stay strong, the emotional part of me just seems to take control.. I can never conprehend why I breakdown so easily when my back's facing the world.. Is it because I try too hard to maintain a strong front that everything kept inside becomes too much for me to handle? My mind is in chaos now.. I guess when there's no turning back, I just gotta make myself think that's everything up till now was all worthwhile.

I miss everything that I gave up for what I have now..